Rants, Ramblings and Nothingness

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I’ve just read this blog entry by Therry which reminds me that I’m still a vagabond, a lost soul searching for its body, a wanderer… I was born in Jakarta and lived there until six years ago, when I moved to Singapore to work. I was still very naive or maybe not as fucked up as now. Home, for me, was Jakarta, my parent’s house, where my mom, dad, sisters, and my closest friends are. It was my identity, and it was easy for me to say, whenever anyone asked, that it was my home.

Singapore has a lots of great things which are known to most people, but even with all those, I don’t feel any attachment to it. Well, of course there’s a fragment of it stays in my heart, but even if I stay longer, it will never be my home.  Another issue is my old home, Jakarta. Whenever I went back, I’ve always feel more and more detached, maybe there’s just too much changes on the landscape or maybe because the people I know aren’t the same anymore or maybe it is just me that changed. I really don’t know the answer to this, sometimes it feels like a dream-like surreal world in a fast forwarded movie. Maybe I’m just one of those ancient Bedouins or a feather riding on a breeze. Or maybe I just being too nostalgic today, longing for something I’ve lost which will never comes back.  Anyway, life is a journey, not a destination, I’m sure the answer will come someday.

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January 25, 2010 - Posted by | Ramblings | , , , , , , ,

1 Comment »

  1. I “lost” my home(town) when my parents decided to sell the house of my childhood and move to my mother’s hometown. Even if I return there for a nostalgic trip, much would’ve changed after the earthquake. I suppose we could only construct “home” from bits of memories we collected from all places we happened to wander around all these times. Most of them would certainly be about people we came to know and love. As Mark Twain wrote about Adam’s epigraph on Eve’s tombstone, “Wherever she was, there was Eden.”

    Comment by donpepito | March 11, 2011 | Reply


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